Sorry for the absence....

     Yikes, it has been awhile since I've written. I'm sure all of you were waiting anxiously for another post too. ( And sarcasm since I'm sure there are like 5 of you who read this...)
Anyways, okay so we're in Seattle now. I've been busy trying to pull my house together and maintain whatever sanity I have left to take care of my children.
      Everything is great here though. I do miss our house in Minnesota, a lot actually. I know MJ does too, he talks about it all the time. It makes me really nervous for the next couple of moves, now that he has the realization of the world around him. He asks about seeing his friends, and going to the parks that we once played at. It tugs at my heart. I'm trying to do what I can to fill that void for him though by going to playgroups at a Church down the street, signed him up for Sunday school, and will hopefully get him signed up for soccer or baseball. I want to have a big 4th birthday for him, because I've been Pinteresting like a mutha for his party. Star Wars of course. What else? So in order for that to happen, I need him to make friends around here. Obviously I don't him to have friends for that reason only, the kid craves interaction. But it would just be nice for him to experience a big birthday party because he's never had one.
       I'm also struggling in the friend department. I have my boys, husband included. I couldn't live without any of them, but you know, as female, you just need those friends. I have an amazing support system on Facebook. The greatest group of friends you could ever ask for, but they are scattered all over the country. Although one is in the area, she's still far away and with two little ones, schedules get crazy. I just want someone I can watch Long Island Medium with, and not get the head tilt when the show makes me cry. Is that to much to ask? I have been introduced to a number of other railroad wives, that I simply adore. They don't have kids, which I could care less about, but I am always afraid that will be a big thing for them. Because of my husbands hours, I can't just leave the kids with him and do lunch or dinner. I would have to bring them with me.
I get lonely. And when I get lonely I get sentimental. And when that happens I get all weepy. I don't have sweets in my house, and sadness makes me crave sweet stuff. It's an ugly, ugly cycle.
   
In other news, the dog tore up another one of my decorative pillows. It's okay, I wanted new ones anyway. But I'm putting my foot down with my husband. I have two toddlers. He wanted this dog, and he keeps saying " I'll train him, I'll train him" and nothing is getting down. If the dog is to remain with us, he needs to be trained. Has to. Ugh, he ate my banana pepper plant, one of my azaleas, and my clematis. Seriously? I keep telling him I'm going to sell him to the gypsies, and now MJ has picked that up and says that to his brother. Oops.

Soon....

I will be seeing you soon Seattle.

Very soon.

We could very well be in Seattle before May. I am so excited, because I am soooooo sick of the weather here. 

Thanks to Carrie for the photo

It is supposed to be 52 here tomorrow. That's bathing suit weather for my town, LOL. When it hits 30, people are already in shorts. And if you think I'm joking, you are sadly mistaken. My neighbor was walking her dog the other day, it was 37 degrees out, and she was wearing a t-shirt and capri pants. I have no much cleaning to do, and it mostly consists of getting rid of stuff we can't ( okay, that I don't want to) take with us. So much junk accumulated over the two years of living here. We are going to go from a 3900 sq.ft. house to a 2900 sq.ft. home. First world problems, yes I know, but we have too much furniture for this next house ( if it's the one we settle on). 

Hopefully should be hearing news about the house we put an offer on by the end of the night. I hope we get it, because although I want to get out of here, I don't want to be stuck in a one bedroom rental with two toddlers for more than a week without our belongings. 

I felt better today. Yesterday was so rough. I miss my husband so, so,so much. And I know both of the kids do too. I'm thinking it is part of the reason MJ has been acting out so much. When I finally got to talk to my husband last night ( 11:00 my time) I sat on the phone and just cried for about 20 minutes, explaining to him how I my day was and how I am feeling about having no one in this house, including the dog, listening to me. The dog is my biggest problem. I can deal with the kids being crazy. But the dog...whole other ball game. We've had him since October, and I have no connection with him whatsoever. He's a German Shepherd and probably one of the dumbest animals I have ever encountered. Yes, I know he's a puppy still and hopefully by the time he's an adult he will be better. But for now, it has been too much stress on me to train him along with raising two little guys. My biggest issue with him is how he constantly goes after the cat. This is not a small dog. 8 months old and he's a giant. But like most big dogs, his brain doesn't tell him that he's a big boy. He still thinks he's this mini shepherd. So whenever the cat so much as flinches, he's up and at her like a maniac. Knocking over end tables, sliding into my China hutch and knocking glasses off of there. I've had to put so many of my decorations/lamps in to storage because they would be busted too. I have tried every trick in the book to get him to stop, and he just won't. She's been around 4 dogs in her 8 years of life. And none of them ( one of them bigger than him) has ever acted like this with her. He will need training, or I am going to go gray before I'm 35. The only upside to him, is that the boys absolutely adore him, and he loves them right back. They use him as a pillow, as a chair, they hug & kiss him and he protects them like they were his own. And they pretty much are. He and I just don't see eye to eye. 

Justified is on tonight. 

Cross your fingers for good news. 

Frustrated.

Sometimes I feel like all I do is repeat myself to my children. That nothing ever gets done the first time I ask them to do something. When I get frustrated, Or even mad...I feel like the worst person on earth. Not having my husband around to help keep the peace makes it even worse. And I'm stuck wondering again how single parents do it. I'm about to lose my.mind.
I don't want to have my children look back at their mother and think " all she did was yell." I just don't. And I know I'm not alone in this, but when it is happening it makes me feel like I'm the worst mother on earth because 1) my kids don't listen at all 2) all I do is yell or tell them no or get frustrated.
I know they are young and being defiant comes with the territory. But my gosh, I can't even count how many times I asked MJ to stop jumping on the couch, or just stop for five minutes and relax while I am trying to feed his brother or even get dinner made for us. Right now I'm in bed and he is next to me and he still isn't stopping. Quiet time for me is non-existant. Sleep has been non-existant. I'm pissed that I haven't even talked to my husband tonight and I just want to have an adult conversation that doesn't deal with Max & Ruby or Star Wars.
I'm sure some of you probably feel like I'm whining, and I know that I am. This is parenthood: ding,ding,ding. Welcome to the crazy world.that you created...literally. I would never, ever change it or ask to.change it. But that doesn't mean it won't drive me bonkers once in awhile.

Milk Puke

Wow, Yahoo! mail is really making me angry. About a month ago my husband's email was hacked into. Then two weeks ago mine was hacked. That was such a mess because I completely forgot all of my Facebook contacts had been added to my Email list. So about 400+ people received spam email from me. And you know that even though I posted on Facebook that Yes, my email was hacked so if you receive an email from me don't open, blahblahblah. I still had people posting on my wall " Hey, I got a really weird email from you...." UGH.
Then last night I tried to log in to check out some houses my husband sent to me, and it's telling me that I don't have the correct password to enter. Um, I just checked my mail an hour ago, how did it change? And instead of going to easy way and just putting in my recovery email, I decided to do the 2 questions. What city were you born in and what was the make of your first car. Aced the first one, the second one wouldn't take my friggin answer.
So yeah, locked out of my account for 12 hours. This morning I just put in my recovery email and I was set. I think I am changing my email account though.

The awesome thing about having more than one child, and by awesome I mean horrible, is that when one of your kids is sick at night and is up until 5 am throwing up....the other kid is up at the butt crack of dawn and ready to rule the world. Meanwhile, you're face down in your pillow asking God why he's punishing you when you waved that lady through the stop sign yesterday even though it was clearly your turn. Even if my husband had been home, and not in Seattle, I probably would have only woken him up twice to help me though the night. Beans was pretty sick. At 11 o'clock on the dot he woke up gagging. And it wasn't just puke...it was Milk throw up. Which is the absolute worse. I started gagging immediately, and at the same time Beans is still heaving. It sounded like we were having a contest to see who could gag the most.
WORST.SMELL.EVER.

I don't even know why I bothered changing his bed so many times. By the end of the night, he was so tired that he would dry heave and fall asleep. Then dry heave again and go right back to bed. He ended up in shorts, a t-shirt and no blankets under him. I just couldn't keep going up and down the steps with dirty/clean laundry. He was fine. Both of the boys refuse to sleep with blankets. Like their father, they are ovens. They sweat profusely, even without blankies.

I'm glad we are done with house showings because I am doing nothing today.