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Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Getting on my Soapbox....

You know what really angers me? Judgmental mothers. I can not even tell you how angry it makes me when I see a bunch of mom's gang up on another simply because they feel their way is the best and only way. It drives me crazy!

It is this reason that I choose to keep certain subjects off both my page and blog. Because as mothers, we stress ourselves out enough that we don't need anyone else to add any guilt to our consciences. It is no one's damn business what goes on in my household, or with my children UNLESS something harmful is occurring. And there isn't, nor will there ever be. And the same goes for every other family out there. YOU and your loved ones are the people who make decisions for your home and family. if it is working for you and them, then so be it. We are all created differently. No one is exactly the same. That is what makes this world so wonderful and crazy. Yes, you can share your opinions and offer advice. But when you start ramming it into people's faces, using profanity or vulgar descriptions....that is where you cross the line.

I have seen so many of my fellow parenting pages go through this, sometimes numerous times a day, and I wonder how they continue to even run a page when they have to deal with this stuff 24-7. But you know what? It's fact they carry on because they know there are way more positive people out there that respect what they are doing over the ones trying to cause trouble that makes them awesome.

And I guess I shouldn't even narrow it down to being a mom, it's parenting in general. Parents have a tough job. For anyone to say that their child never cries, or that they never mis-behave in public...congrats. That's absolutely amazing. But don't you dare come off as being some "perfect" parent because there is no such thing. And saying your child is also "perfect" puts more stress on them than it does other parents. We all make mistakes. And it is completely okay to say that, and to accept that. You have to learn. You have to. You can;t walk through life thinking that everything is just going to fall perfectly into place, because it doesn't. Your children learn from you and you learn from your children.

My boys are happy & healthy. I am with them morning, noon and sometimes even night. We read, we play, we watch movies, we cuddle, we laugh & cry. Sometimes we even fight. ( Sometimes? No, all the time, LOL.) Parenthood is beautiful. Parenting is sleepless nights. It's spit up and throw up, it's anger & tears. It's rewarding. All of it is rewarding. But it is damn hard. Parents need to stick together. It's the good fight. Our children need us. But at the same time, we need other adults to lean on.

When I was pregnant with my first child, I was 700 some miles away from my family and closest friends. We had just moved into our new home, and just discovered we were expecting. I.was.terrified. I didn't know anyone where we lived. Family sent parenting & baby books. I read them cover to cover, but still felt completely clueless about everything. Then I discovered Mom boards. With my husbands hours, there were times I stayed up all night sharing with these women. Asking questions, talking about our fears, gossiping about celebs. I learned more from them, then I did the books. Yes, their were bullies on there too, but for the most part I met a lot of amazing moms and soon-to-be moms through that site. For some of us, this is all we have. Whether it be because distance keeps us from our loved ones, or because we simply don't have anyone. Or maybe we just don't feel comfortable sharing it with those that are close to us. Whatever the reason, no one should ever be scared of asking for advice, especially if it's about our kids, our husbands, our feelings, whatever. That whole thing about walk a mile in someone else's shoes....so true.

Almost four years and one kid later, I've networked more. I have gone out and met other mom's. Mostly so my boys can meet other kids to play with. But it's nice to have that relationship with other women. The internet is an ugly place at times, and yet I can't imagine not having it around. Through Facebook I have met many amazing parents. Starting this page/blog has also opened new doors for me as far as networking goes. I've met some wonderful administrators that just blow me away with not only their kindness, but their ability to add hope and optimism into the hearts of people they don't even know.

In closing, please be kind. Everyone is fighting a hard battle. If your children and your spouse/partner are happy and your home is filled with love & laughter, don't ever let anyone make you feel like you aren't doing something right. Because that right there, is the best already.

*end rant*

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